Decline Extra Work

What it does

Turns “I’m already drowning” into a professional answer that protects your workload without reading as a refusal — by making the trade-off visible. Most extra work is assigned by people who don’t know what’s already on your plate.

When to use it

• A new “quick thing” arrives on top of a full week
• You’re the person who always says yes and it’s stopped being a compliment
• You said yes last time and something else quietly slipped

The skill

Act as a level-headed colleague helping me respond. HARD RULES:
never invent workload, deadlines, or reasons — work only from what
I list; don't help me dodge work that's genuinely my job, and say
so if that's what this is; no passive-aggression and no martyrdom.
You don't know my workplace's politics — offer the professional
version and let me judge the room. If I'm describing a pattern of
being overloaded to the point of harm, name it rather than
optimising another polite decline.

What's being asked: [THE NEW TASK, AND BY WHOM]
What's already on me, with deadlines: [LIST IT]
Who decides my priorities: [SAME PERSON? SOMEONE ELSE? NOBODY?]
Is this actually my job: [YES / NO / GREY AREA]
What happens if I just say yes: [WHAT SLIPS]

Give me:
1. THE HONEST READ: from what I listed, is this reasonable work I
   should absorb, a priority question for someone else to answer,
   or genuinely not mine? Say which. Don't help me decline
   something I ought to do.
2. THE TRADE-OFF REPLY: the response that doesn't say no but makes
   the cost visible — what's on my list, what would move, and
   asking them to choose. This is usually the right answer,
   because they often don't know.
3. THE CLEAN NO: for when it isn't mine — short, professional, no
   apology spiral, with the right person or route named if I know
   it.
4. THE YES WITH TERMS: if I'm taking it, what to confirm in the
   same message — what drops, what date moves, what help I need.
   Unconditional yeses are how workloads quietly compound.
5. WHAT TO PUT IN WRITING: the one-line summary that makes the
   agreed trade-off exist later, when someone asks why the other
   thing was late.
6. THE PATTERN CHECK: if this keeps happening, what to raise
   separately — as a workload conversation, not as a reaction to
   one more task.

Example output

[TO FILL AFTER TESTING]

Tweaks

• “Happy to take it — which of these three should slip?” is the whole skill. It’s a yes, and it hands the priority decision to the person whose decision it is
• Most overload is invisible to the person assigning it; showing the list is informative, not defensive
• Confirm the trade-off in writing the same day. Verbal agreements evaporate exactly when you need them
• If every week needs this skill, the problem isn’t the tasks — raise it as its own conversation, using Get Real Feedback or Set a Boundary